Sex. Violence. Betrayal. Incest. Witches. Dragons. Game of Thrones and professional climbing have a lot in common. But which Game of Thrones character does your favorite climber embody?
SPOILER ALERT: If you aren’t up to date with Game of Thrones, you might be if you read this post.
Ned Stark: Royal Robbins
This one was easy. Both lived by a strict code of ethics. They were OG characters whose impact is felt well past their deaths. Ned spearheaded a Game of Thrones political revolution, while Royal led the way in revolutionizing climbing. Paired with Robert/Warren below, it makes even more sense.
Robert Baratheon: Warren Harding
Hard charging, heavy drinking, no-fucks-given attitudes. Living by a much looser code than Ned/Royal, both were scraggly, bearded men more comfortable at war/climbing than not. Warren summited El Cap the way Robert ruled the Game of Thrones kingdom: with lots of wine.
Catelyn Stark: Lynn Hill
The strong matriarch who everyone admires. She holds her own against the boys, never letting them look down on her. Lynn free climbed El Cap before any man, setting off an ongoing battle for El Cap supremacy. Catelyn Stark seized Tyrion Lannister, setting off a war in Game of Thrones.
Read more humor: America’s Best Idea: Negative online reviews of Yosemite National ParkÂ
Sansa Stark: Sierra Blair-Coyle
Don’t be fooled by the fancy dresses or pretty faces. There’s more to these badass beauties than meets the eye—those who underestimate them: beware. Sansa rules the North and outsmarts the very best (RIP Littlefinger). Sierra has been on the US climbing team 7 years running, consistently placing in competitions. And both look good doing it.
Arya Stark: Ashima Shiraishi
Small but deadly. Don’t laugh at their size because you’ll quickly regret it. Ashima kills the climbing competition and Arya kills…in a more literal sense. Not sure if Ashima’s training looked anything like Arya’s (hopefully she never went blind because she stole a human face and wore it as a disguise), but the results are the same. They’re the very best, despite their unassuming size.
RELATED: Why Climbers Make Better Lovers
Jon Snow: Alex Honnold
The golden boy that everyone knows and loves. Both are quiet, humble, and really weren’t looking to play such a big role. How many times has Jon put his life on the line? Alex does the same every time he free solos. Except Alex doesn’t have a red priestess to bring him back to life if he falls.
Samwell Tarly: Cedar Wright
Samwell is to Jon as Cedar is to Alex. The lesser-known of the duo, but no less unique. Jon and Alex are the face and the muscle, Sam and Cedar are the brains and the heart. Let’s hope Cedar never takes after Sam in size…it would make climbing much more difficult.
Check out: Best outdoor nudity Instagram accounts to follow
Tormund Giantsbane: Adam Ondra
Fun loving, scraggly jokesters—until it comes to business. Whether that’s fighting or climbing, once things get serious, you’ve never seen such intensity. Both have impressive screams and beautiful curly locks. This raises the question…who is Adam’s Brienne?
Brienne of Tarth: Alex Puccio
Their mere physical presence makes them stand out immediately. But it’s once you see them performing that you realize they’re no average woman. Brienne defeated the Hound in single combat. Alex is a 10-time American bouldering champion. Some may underestimate them, but in a “man’s world”, these women hold their own.
RELATED: 15 Best Climbing Podcasts
Jaime Lannister: Tommy Caldwell
The biggest similarity between these two…is actually what they’re missing. Thankfully for Tommy, it’s only a finger (not a whole hand like Jaime). Both have been held prisoner, conquered overwhelming odds, and have blond hair. The similarities really end there…unless Tommy has a sister…?
Read More: “6 Books Every Adventurer Should Have on Their Shelf.”
Jaqen H’ghar: Dean Potter
Mysterious men who have tapped into a deeper wisdom. Who live to serve…Jaqen serving death, and Dean, arguably, serving life. Jaqen is a man of many faces…while Dean, as a climber, alpinist, BASE jumper, highliner, etc. was a man of many faces in a more figurative sense.
Prince Oberyn: Daniel Woods
These guys are both moody, good-looking bad boys who you can’t help but love. They live life passionately and on their own terms. Hot-headed, but lovers at heart. They’re both the very best at what they do, but don’t let it get in the way of enjoying the pleasure life has to offer. We’re not sure about Daniel’s sexual preferences, but can definitely picture him saying, “Have you ever been with a prince?”.
 Ellaria Sand: Courtney Sanders
Sexy and alluring, they obviously had to be paired with Daniel and Oberyn. “But, um, Courtney and Daniel aren’t together anymore?” you might awkwardly say. Yeah, well neither are Oberyn and Ellaria. And luckily for Daniel it’s not because a freakishly large man crushed his head with his bare hands.
You might like: 6 Types of adventure couples we all love to hate
Daenerys Targaryen: Sasha DiGiulian
Golden haired beauties at the top of their game…whether that’s a game of thrones or a game of stones. Daenerys has 3 (now 2…RIP Viserio) dragons, Sasha is 3-time US National Champion. Daenerys was the first to get the Dothraki to cross the Great Sea, Sasha was the first North American female to climb 5.14d. Daenerys is impervious to fire, and Sasha is impervious to…falling? 
Daario Naharis: Chris Sharma
When are these guys not having a good time and looking sexy doing it? So many similarities: 1. From the hair to the smile, if Chris grew a beard they’d look like cousins. 2. Their calm confidence comes from years of practice—think of Daario casually throwing a knife at a charging horse, then how Chris climbs in the same unassuming way, with bursts of surprising intensity. 3. Daario is a bleeding heart romantic, and come on, have you seen Chris’s Instagram? The dude seriously loves his wife and daughter.
Khal Drogo: Jason Momoa
Ok, ok, they’re the same person. And maybe he’s not a professional climber. But with a physique like that, he’s a pretty damn good one. He’s also great friends with Chris Sharma. If Khal Drogo and Daario had ever met they would have had so much in common (lovers of Daenerys, fierce warriors, beard connoisseurs), maybe they would have gotten along just as well as Chris and Jason do.
RELATED: 26 Best Climbing Instagram Accounts that Everyone Should Follow
“What the hell? What about Tyrion? Stannis? Grey Worm?! You left out so many!” If this is your response, we want to hear from you. Who would you match up?
If you enjoyed this article, check out more of our Humor content, or you might also like:
