Anyone who has spent a good amount of time pursuing outdoor adventures knows the feeling. It starts with some pressure deep in the bowels. You frantically try to think of the nearest bathroom but quickly realize: you’re going to be pooping in the woods.
Pooping in the Woods
For some, pooping in the woods is a fun and relaxing experience, a chance to commune with nature. For the rest of us, it feels anything but natural. Our 9 D’s of Defecation follow the Leave No Trace principle #3: Dispose of Waste Properly. By following the “9 D’s” you guarantee a good experience for yourself, for others, and for Mother Nature.
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Desire
Detect the desire. The start of any good number two experience. You can’t go if you don’t feel the desire. But the tricky thing about desire is that it’s easy to ignore. In the comfort of your own home you’ve probably got easy access to a bathroom, so you can wait until the end of that Game of Thrones episode, when desire has nearly become desperation. Don’t do that in nature. Pooping in the woods is a process that takes time. Listen to your body and at the very first sign of any desire, get started on the rest of the “D’s”.
Devices
Decide on devices. You’re going to need a few devices to successfully pull this off. Pro tip: If you know there is a high likelihood of pooping outside, put all these tools together in a bag so you don’t have to hunt for them in your time of need. First, grab a digging tool. A small shovel works best, but a stick or even your hands can do the job. Next, disinfectant. Think of the two parts of your body you need to clean after pooping (clue: it’s your hands and butt). Bring things to clean those areas. We recommend toilet paper and hand sanitizer, but any number of items can solve the disinfectant dilemma.
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Distance
Don’t dawdle, go the distance. Leave No Trace guidelines says to walk, “at least 200 feet (about 70 adult steps) from water, trails and camp. Select an inconspicuous site where other people will be unlikely to walk or camp.” Let’s reiterate point number one about catching desire early because it takes time find a good spot 70 steps away. Give yourself time to stroll leisurely through the woods instead of doing a butt-clenching nature sprint.
Depth
Dig to the depth. The most common method of disposing of waste is to poop in a hole (commonly called a “cathole”). The depth to which you should dig depends on where you are. In areas with abundant organic material (forested areas) you should dig a hole 6-8 inches deep. For drier areas with less organic material in the soil you should dig a hole 4-6 inches deep. This allows the sun’s UV rays, which can penetrate to that depth, to help with decomposition.
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Diameter
Devise the diameter. Leave No Trace principles state your cathole should have a diameter of 4-6 inches—wide enough to ensure that, post-deposit, your cathole is still deep enough (that is, if your cathole is deep enough but too skinny, it’ll get filled up and won’t meet the depth requirement). But further, a wider hole allows for some “wiggle room” in terms of accuracy. Most of us don’t have too much experience aiming our poop (sitting on the seat usually does the job for us), so give yourself a nice, big target.
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Deposit
Drop off the deposit. Do the deed. Dump the doodie. You get the idea. This is the step we’ve all got the most experience with. Most people poop in the classic squat pose. Some people like “tree pose” for the added stability. After your deposit, clean up with toilet paper or any natural materials you chose (smooth rocks, large soft leaves). Some areas require that you pack out toilet paper while others allow you to leave the toilet paper in your cathole. Know local rules beforehand.
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Disguise
Design a disguise—ideally no one will ever know what happened here. First, put a small amount of dirt back into the hole. Second, use a stick to “mix things up.” This aids in the quick decomposition of your poop, a key factor in a good disguise. Third, fill the hole back in completely with the original dirt and cover it with natural materials to make it as inconspicuous as possible. Think of it as a creative opportunity for self-expression with natural materials as your medium.
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Disinfect
Diligently disinfect. Use water and soap if possible, or hand sanitizer if it’s all you have. Don’t ruin a good pooping in the woods experience by making yourself and everyone else in your party sick the next day after your poop fingers spread disease, you filthy animal.
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Describe!
Deliver an in-depth description. Ok so this isn’t based off of an LNT principle. But it makes pooping in the woods more fun! Tell your friends about your experience. Come up with a rating system so you can compare your experience to your friends. Was it a 5-star poop? Maybe you watched the sunrise while you pooped. Maybe you made eye contact with an animal (or another  human). Regardless of how you choose to describe your experience, have fun with it and keep on pooping!
Special thanks to pooping in the woods expert Elena Chin for inspiring and consulting on this article.
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