Van Life Couple: Tips and Tricks from the Road

I’ve been living as a van life couple in a Ford Econoline with my boyfriend Dusty for the past two years.

I’m going to drop a knowledge bomb on you.

Not every van life couple are 20-something digital nomads who do yoga. The vast majority of us are just regular people living our lives in a different way. I’m not going to lie and say that’s it’s been all sunshine and daisies, but we’re pretty normal outside of the whole van life couple thing.

Van life Couple - Dusty and Sparky — Well…*relatively* normal

Usually, when I tell people we’ve chosen the van life over the more traditional house route, the reactions are either pity or envy. Some people immediately drop the subject and try not to think of us as quasi homeless people, while others go on to ask invasive questions.

“How do you poop?”

“How do you live with another person in such tight quarters?”

And my answer to both of those questions is, “It’s a lot easier than you think.”

How did we get here?

When we met, Dusty was living in a small room in his cousin’s house. He had a mattress on the floor and a small end table. I had a little bit more in my dark, overpriced basement rental, but not much.

Did I mention that we were both in our 30’s?

After dating for a while and realizing we were two peas in a pod, we decided to take the plunge and move in together. It sounded simple in theory, but in our neck of the woods, getting an apartment is like being a Goonie and trying to find One Eyed Willy’s rich stuff. To even have a shot, you need to:

Be on Craigslist the second an apartment is listed.
Be ready to show up at said apartment with cash in hand.
Fight the Fratelli family (aka the other prospective renters who happen to be scoping the place out).
Sign the papers and get the rich stuff…if you can afford it.

The Fratellis beat us out every damn time.

You don’t own stuff. Stuff owns you.

One of the things that drew us to one another was a shared appreciation for minimal living. We both thought the idea of working 50+ hours a week to afford a house we would never spend time in was kind of a waste.

Paring down our already meager belongings and leaving a small footprint on the environment was a far more appealing option. Neither one of us wanted to own a house with a white picket fence.

To us, life is about the experiences, not the amount of junk you can collect.

So we changed our Craigslist search terms, and before I knew it, we had found the van we would call our home.

Bliss on four wheels

I would love to say that everything was perfect right away, but I want to be real—living in such a small space is hard. Cramming two full grown, introverted adults into it is even harder.

There are some big drawbacks to being a van life couple that you might not think of when you’re scoping out the beautiful pictures on Instagram.

A few things to take into consideration before taking the plunge into the van life couple life:

1. Not having a space to call your own

I love Dusty to the moon and back but sometimes after a long day I like to come home and be alone. I’m a chef and my job requires having other people in my personal space all day long, so that few minutes of silence is vital to my survival. If we had an apartment, I could just go sit in a separate room…but I don’t have that.

Instead, we have to agree on when we can and can’t harass the other person.

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2. Bathroom Stuff

This may be TMI, but the bathroom in van situation is a tricky one. To address that poop question from earlier, we have a Lugaloo in our van. It’s a simple bucket + bag scenario that’s a breeze to use. However, it’s far from ideal. My tip for you is to try and time it to do your business at work. Peeing in the van is one thing, but when you have to poop, the other person pretty much has to leave. It’s not something you want to do in the dead of winter if you can avoid it.

3. You’re by each other’s side, for EVERYTHING

There’s one other time I really like to be alone, and that’s when I’m sick. I had to get over that real fast when Dusty got food poisoning on a cross country road trip. Watching the person you love vomiting for three days straight is awful, but when you can’t get away from the puke it’s even worse.

Eventually Dusty recovered, but I felt so bad that he had to go through that with me hovering over him. If it was me in his place, I would have been mortified.

van life couple - dusty playing nintendo — He’s never too sick to play Nintendo

With all that being said, there are a lot of positives to the van life couple lifestyle. The whole #VanLife movement probably wouldn’t have taken off if there weren’t.

Beyond the travel factor and cool Instagram photos, there’s:

1. Every night is an awesome sleepover

If you love your partner, then hanging out with them should be fun! We get to spend every night together playing games, exploring nature, and just being silly. It’s the kind of things that we’d be less likely to do if we owned a home. Not because we wouldn’t want to, but because technology and space tend to separate people. Living together as a van life couple in a small area forces you to spend a lot of time with a person, and gives you a lot of opportunities to enjoy their company.

2. You have an extra set of hands when there’s a problem

When I was in my early 20’s my tire fell off my car just as I was merging onto the highway. It was late at night and I didn’t have a cell phone yet which meant I had to take a ride from a stranger. It was terrifying. Having a partner in van dwelling means you’re never alone when the shit hits the fan. There will always be a sidekick to help you out.

3. You’ll form an unbreakable bond

I don’t know if it’s just because Dusty is a great guy, or if it’s the van living, but I am so much closer to him than I have been to any of my previous partners.

So, while van life isn’t for everyone, for the right couple it can be an amazing experience.

van life enable some amazing vacations! — And yeah, we have gone on some amazing vacations!

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But for the most part, we live pretty regular lives in our little pocket of the Pacific Northwest.

The only difference between you and I is at the end of the day, I head back to my van.

I don’t have to worry about a mortgage, mowing the lawn, or cleaning the bathroom.*

We’re free to enjoy every second of every day, and that’s really what it’s all about.

* Unless you count “taking out the poop bucket” as cleaning the bathroom. I don’t.

If you enjoyed this article on being a van life couple, check out other articles like it, or you might like one of these:

About the author, Sparky:

Pastry Chef by day, #VanLife enthusiast by night, Sparky takes nomadic living to a whole new level. When she’s not working on her website Vancognito.com she’s either backpacking somewhere exotic, or tinkering with new camp recipes in the woods of Oregon.

Fun Fact: In 2011, The Food Network called her one of the best donut makers in America. So, she’s kind of a big deal.

Adventure Protocol

The #VanLife Couple Next Door

How did we get here?

You don’t own stuff. Stuff owns you.